Good Little Girl Syndrome

A female co-worker of mine described some girls as having "Good little girl syndrome" which is tagged onto women that want to please others and are "nice".

I found that distinctly insulting on behalf of the women who are nice.

She went onto say that women like that won't be successful at work and get trampled on. That they are socially trained to behave in a manner that isn't truly female. I admit this is partially true but my belief that has to do with unconfident women that feel they need to be submissive.

I thought the term (it was in Finnish) was... let's say wrong.

It is generally not used outside of Feminist discourse. And feminism is strong in Finland.

There is nothing wrong with a woman in power.

But I think Finns might be taking it a bit far (or at least the older generation and some of mine).

They see the "feminine" as weak. Nurturing, caring, and other characteristics.

I think that these characteristics generally occure naturally in women (hormones, genes etc). I believe it is both a strength and weakness.

We exist in dualities. There is male and female, black and white, love and hated, etc etc.

Neither is better or worse than the other.

I think it is truly sad that there are women out there that do not glory in being female.

There is strength in being Female, it is not always the same as Male but both can be used to get ahead in life.

Work life is highlighted in Finland as being incredibly important, and that Feminine characteristics do not let you get ahead in that field, ergo belittling them.

However I believe a truly confident woman, who has embraced her duality can be successful as well.

And also thinking on this, will that woman be truly happy suppressing her feminine side and bringing the masculine side to the fore even though it makes her successful business?

I don't know... 

What do you think?

Tim Hortons - So Not Needed

It was commented earlier that Finland couldn't possibly be anything like Canada since it does not have Tim Hortons.

I disagree.

Though Finland lacks Timmy's, Finland does not lack in coffee culture. Actually I think Finland surpasses Canada.

You know how in the UK they say its Tea time? Well in Finland it's coffee time.

Finns generally have coffee at breakfast, than at around the brunch our, then again at lunch, then between lunch and supper and finally as an evening desert.

Those are by the way the "official" times that Finns indulge in their seemingly favorite beverage.

It is not easy to find a Finn that does not drink coffee (I don't, but I haven't lived in Finland all my life)

And though finland does not have TimBits, Finland has munks (munkkies) which I think are just better than timbits, so much more flavor and healthier (not by much but they are!) And a variety of other pastries, breads and other baked goods Canada rarely gets a chance to even see in a photo.

Frankly I think Finns should just hook themselves up to an IV full of caffeine. Also I believe I've heard it that Finnish coffee is stronger  than it's Canadian counterpart... not sure, since I don't drink.

But at every corner in Finland you will find a Kahvila (coffee place) oh and an ice cream parlour/stand. Finns love ice cream and they eat it all year round. While in Canada it feels more of a Spring/Summer treat, though maybe that is just me.

Lastly, almost all Finns speak English these days, and I know some people there who have been here over a decade, don't know a word of Finnish but still get along just fine. So don't let your inability to speak Finnish stop you from coming to visit this higly caffeinated country.

Also Timmy's could make it big in Finland... if they changed their coffee and products to suit Finnish tastes.

Pliers + Teeth = Frustration

I have to say I am missing Canada.

It's really the lack of noise and openess. 

Finns don't talk unless they have been drinking. The Finns that do talk are generally from the Karjala region (my mom's mom is, so now I know why she talks so much) And a couple other areas outside of Helsinki.

Finns don't know what to do with small talk. It can make them uncomfortable. There are even some Finns that do not volunteer any information about themselves unless asked a direct question.

And I mean direct, and then they answer the question with no more or less than is absolutely required. They don't volunteer, nor do they reciprocate in asking questions back at you.

Of course the person asking the questions ends up feeling uncomfortable, because really do you want to pry so much for information? It is like pulling teeth. The person does not want to give any information why waste energy on them?

The situation is different when they have been drinking, then it's difficult to shut them up and tone them down.

Of course not all Finns are an absolute struggle, as I said it depends on region and also their background.

If the Finn has travelled, has an outgoing partner, is from a more chatty region...

But I myself don't like tearing out teeth from a clenched jaw that makes me do all the work.

How can you learn anything about a person if you have to ask the questions and they supply nothing but a direct answer?

Of course this is handy at times when looking for direct information, but it is a pain when you want to get to know someone!

I have to add that I have met a lot of nice Finns that once I've cracked their shells turn into fun and talkative people, though still a bit more quiet than the average Canadian.

Slowly I will alter Finnish culture into accepting small talk as the norm!

Cold Wake ups

I hate, absolutely hate waking up to the cold.

I love going to sleep in a cold room, bundled in a down blanket. But to wake up to a cold room in torture.

This morning I woke up and barely persuaded myself to get up and go to work. The cold made me shiver and raised some goosebumps. An ancient remnant of when we had fur and goosebumps were affective for something.

So wrapped in my blanket I quickly dressed and stumbled my way to the kitchen, which was warmer. Made tea, gulped it down and then tossed my blanket back into my room before leaving the house.

The air was damp, drizzling and chill.  Oh, how I want to go back to bed right now!

On the plus side I am getting a hair cut today and it should be +13 today in Helsinki.

Cross you fingers.

Muscles, they scream

I went skiing for the first time in like 8 or more years.

My muscles now remind me of this daily. I ache in my triceps, in my back, in my calves, hips, and thighs. And of course I have bruises on top of that.

My legs are so stiff I can barely bend them!

I think I took it a little fast!

Just have to keep it up, work with the ache, but not so bad that I injure myself.

The weather is magnificent and the snow deep.

Well I'm off again. No not to ski, I don't think my legs can support me!

I went for a 3 hour walk and didn't start regretting that until about 10minutes after I got back to the cottage and took my boots off. Now the muscles that weren't key in skiing ache.

Why can't it give you these warning pains when you start?!

Off to eat now!

Blogging quickly from Ruka, Finland

Greetings from the North!

I am up north in Rukka, Finland!

My posts will be more brief since I will be out in the snow humiliating myself and having wicked fun.

I will try to post some pictures of my trip here tomorrow. But I just arrived and I am dead tired after hours of travel.

I can't wait to show you Finland's landscape, it is so different than Canada! Or rather it is Canada but greatly compressed!

Gifts - Appreciation

I was brought up on the habit of bringing a gift to places you go to visit relatively formally(family, friends and acquaintances).

From visiting with relatives for coffee to a nice social dinner. Really it depends on how the invite was made. And sometimes that can throw you.

Gifts are genearlly something little, a box of chocolates, candles, napkins, flowers etc. It is sort of a thank you as well as a sign of appreciation for the person the effort they are showing for you.

I would not bring my best friends little random presents every single time I go for a visit.

this habit is something I was brought up on. 

But really deciding what to give and whether it is appropriate can be a serious headache!

Not to mention if you go out socially on formalish occasions you might end up broke. Thank goodness it is little gifts, or even flowers from your garden or something you baked.

Now I have been invited by my Uncle (really his wife) to Rukka for Easter. Because of Finnish social structure and polite behavior I do not have to bring anything. Since he is higher status than me, being an older relative.

However I'd like so show appreciation for him sharing the celebration and his cottage.

So I am going to buy a bottle of white wine. Problem is I know nothing of wine. So I will have to ask for help in the store.

Easter - Finland's Halloween

Virvon varvon tuoreeks terveeks, tulevaks vuuveks!

Kui monta urpaa nii monta uuhta,

kui monta varpaa nii monta vasikkaa,

kui monta oksaa nii monta orhii,

kui monta lehtee nii monta lehmää,

kui monta latvaa nii monta lammasta.

The above is a sampling of the Finnish version of "Trick or Treat"

The Easter tradition is strong in Finland, and every Easter morning little Finnish children dress up as witches and carry baskets containing coffee, eggs and other things. These suit covered witches go knocking on doors and chanting various verses for treats. The more children that come to your more home the more luck and blessings upon the house. And for the kids the more houses they manage to get you is one of honor... and treats.

The above is most common that I heard. Approximately. It is a blessing on the new year and upon the house.

The children are then given chocolates and other goodies.

This tradition is call "Virpominen".

It has to do with how people greeted Jesus in Jerusalem with palm branches. However in this case its pussy willow branches decorated with little eggs and colorful feathers, ribbons and papers. It is also common to gift the houses with these branches along with various blessings.

The verse above is approximately translated as:

By this branch I wish you much health and greetings on this new year

with many catkins, many eyes

with many branches, many calves

with many buds, many stallions,

with many leaves, many cows

with many branches, many sheep

(full of error, it was written in a dialect, but this is the gist of it) If someone wants to have a better translation, comment and I'll work harder at it! Or submit one...which ever :)

I just thought this was nifty :) I had never heard of it before. Apparently its roots come from Karjala and is also influenced a little by Russia.

Finland - Food & Work

Food.

The Finnish diet seems to be largely bread and potatoes. They have really, really good bread in a variety that you can't come close to in Canada, unless you go to specialty stores and even then you rarely get the quality.

I think it's is largely due to the fact Canada and the USA do not have the same quality standards in their products. The food here in Finland seems to be more nutritious, have more flavor and be more effective. I made some buns with the traditional Canadian recipe. I ended up with nearly double the amount the recipe indicated.

However food here is more expensive. On a good point you could say that is good. But veggies and fruits will burn a hole through your pocket rather fast. But they are good.

Well I'm told they are not even close to what you get in Asia (at least according to my brother who was recently there), such as Hong Kong, let alone Kuala Lampur (pardon the spelling). I think THAT is due to the fruits and vegs having to travel greater distances and therefore are not permitted to ripen as well.

That and the EU is getting more and more genetically modified foods. But at least it is more restricted and controlled here.

But the food is good here. I don't get why people come to Finland and say it tastes like crap.

I am more of the opinion that most Finns don't sit down and enjoy the meal. It is all rush and no savoring of quality ingredients and well made recipes.

Finns need to relax, sit down and take more than 10minutes to eat a 3 course meal. I mean seriously not even more Canadians are that bad!

The food isn't spice, but it is generally fresh and good quality. Generally you can taste the ingredients involved.

And my Canadian friends when eating Finnish fare at my home in Canada have all enjoyed it and frequently asked for recipes themselves.

So no it isn't a matter of taste, but a matter of apprecation and taking the time to enjoy a meal.

As I have heard now more and more. Finns seem to act like life is work. They don't stop to appreciate what they have. Though some do, but I have to say that Finns have a REALLY good work ethic.

They just need to relax. And not work and rush.

*Note coming to Finland in the summer is the best, a large majority of Finns are using holiday leave, around 6 weeks I believe. Though I think most take just 3weeks off in the summer so they have some for the rest of the year. By the way 6 weeks + government holidays ie Christmas, easter, etc etc. Finns get a lot of time of and know how to use it generally.

A lot of Finns travel or migrate to their relaxing summer cottages!

Finland - Crossing Streets

A native Finn asked me for an example of what Finns did differently than people in Canada.

I told her one thing is how they cross streets. In Canada as long as the way is clear you cross the street, even if you have a Red Pedestrian light. You even jaywalk. Technically illegal but very rarely reinforced. And not just when the way is clear, we have people crossing the streets at random in Toronto. Drives the people in cars crazy.

And then if a pedestrian is on a rise in the middle of the street, cars generally, not always, but generally will slow down or stop so they can get completely across the street. This is only the case if there are no street lights where the person is crossing.

In Canada the driver gets all the blame if you hit an idiot that crosses where they aren't supposed to.

I then told her that in Finland a large majority will stand at the crosswalk, waiting for the Pedestrian light to go GREEN before they cross.

Which is all when and good, except that often there are no cars in sight or so far off that you can safely cross before it gets there. Also most Finns only cross and crosswalks.

She and her friend adamantly denied this, saying no! You must not be in Helsinki, we all cross is there are no cars!

And I say, and my English friends says No. There are so many Finns that do this that it isn't "just a few". It isn't just elderly or mothers. Most Finns will stand and wait until that light changes.

She then said, there is nothing wrong with standing there, if I am not in a rush I will wait for the light to change!

The English guy's and my jaw dropped to the floor. If you have spare time why the hell would you stand like a fool at the intersection staring at a light? Frankly I would have better things to do. Like maybe shopping, or getting a snack or taking in the sights... something better than standing at a crosswalk waiting for the light.

The Finn went on to say, well I will cross, except if there is a child without a grown-up, then I won't since it sets a bad example!

At this the Englishmen and I exchanged laughing looks, and said at about the same time, "I wouldn't have even noticed!"

Multicultarism - The Experience

After coming to Finland I have been encountering more and more people from different cultural backgrounds.

This seems mainly because they gather together in a tight knit group, they all know each other or know someone that does. There is the occasional Finn that infiltrates the group, but usually they are quickly spotted and fade away after a few interactions.

This is not from any intentional actions on party of the Multicultural group (let's call them MCs) but more that they seem to feel uncomfortable around the boisterious and loud group that isn't even intoxicated yet.

There are also Finns that have various MC backgrounds or have lived outside of Finland for a few years and absorbed different cultures in that time. They blend in magnificently.

It is interesting that all the MCs I meet have similar reactions to all non-MCs, be they from Finland, Canada, China, India, Africa or anywhere else. 

MCs find it difficult to view the world the same way non-MCs do. MCs often observe that non-mcs believe their cultures to be superior to others, (unconsciously for the most part) and often don't think of global perspectives. It is all local.

I guess it is hard to imagine the size of their world if you live on one street your whole life.

Not all people that travel are MCs. You have to actually live with people from a different culture and let it touch you. Take down the barriers and be willing to see through anothers eyes.

All this I hear again and again from people. I know people from single-cultural backgrounds might take offence, none is intended. I am not implying lack of intelligence, skill or anything else.

It is just a different perspective when you walk in anothers shoes.

I believe you can probably acquire it even in your home country if you go out of your town/village/city/state or province. Or simply living with a different family.

The thing is, and here I think is where it gets tricky, you have to OPEN yourself up to it.

Shh!

Finland is a country-sized library.

It is organized, controlled, full of knowledge and advanced (technology). It also has you keep your voice volume at a near a whisper.

You know you have been in Finland, perhaps a little too long when you associate a loud voice with drunkeness.

Of course most of the time you are right or the person is a Foreigner. Yes, oh my god, a FOREIGNER.

So loud voice equal Drunk or Foreigner.

Update About Me

It's snowing outside and I am going to buy a ticket to return to Canada at the end of August.

I have now agreed to stay 2 additional months at my internship, I am now officially published in two different newspapers/magazines.

I have done translations, layout, website updates and articles.

So, oh yeah, I am totally on my way to my goal as a writer.

My internship will end at the end of May. That means 2 months of free time unless I don't get another job.

I am considering traveling around Europe. And to pay for part of it I plan to write some articles to submit them to various newspapers and see if I can get any money from that. You know writing about travels, people seem to like reading about that.

Then in August I will go with my parents to our cottage up north and bond with nature.... hm I am going to have to write a lot of posts before hand since I won't have much net access up there.

For Easter I am going to Rukka, to my uncles... ski chalet, or 2nd cottage, however you wish to call it. That's in about northern central Finland. For about 5 days.

There I will humiliate myself on the slopes by falling flat on my face and eating snow.

Hopefully I can do some cross country where I will at least get a little less humiliated.

It has be nearly 7 years since I last did any kind of skiing.

Seriously, what kind of Finn am I?

Tonight I am going to Baribal, see www.baribal.fi to play billiards, get boozed up, eat what I am told are delicious french fries and also humiliate myself playing pool.

And hopefully have a blast.

I was going to go to my cousin's 25th birthday, but he ended up sick, doesn't that just suck? All the plans gone to waste because of the flu.

The flu is on the move here in Finland. And it is freaking me out, I hope not to get sick, since I've been sick enough on my trip here!

So that's my update. Next post will be about ramblings or some quirky observations of Finns in their natural habitats!

Oh PS, It's my dad's birthday today, so all wish him well!

Children on Buses

I continue to be surprised by things here in Finland.

There are little children riding buses here. Without adults with them. These kids are at most eight years old!

They go on buses all the way from the Finnish equivalent of suburbs to the Helsinki centre.

Finns are perfectly comfortable letting their kids on public buses.

But would a Canadian? Sure I have seen 12 year olds and up, but generally anyone younger has always, always had an adult or an older kid with them.

My relatives constantly warn me of the dangers of Helsinki and riding on the bus. But it is almost laughable when you think that they let their 7 year old ride the bus alone and walk 40minutes home from school by themselves.

Of course when they are warning me it generally has to do with me being out late and Finnish drunkeness or scary foreigners.

But really, would a parent from the USA or Canada be comfortable letting their kids ride the public bus at such a young age? To walk such far distances?

Really, it really makes you pause.

Oho!

Finns have a way of being very modest and understating pretty much everything. Finn wins a gold medals; “Oho! Well I would been just as happy in fourth.” Finn has an all night drinking binge, “Oho, it was just 15 beers.” Finn knocks you down on the street and you twist an ankle, “Oho! Just a little bruise”.

Like in my previous post about lack of expression you can see it here. Finns tend to be so modest, refusing at any point to brag or even acknowledge the greatness of any accomplishment. Oh you cured AIDS? Oh that was just a little thing but I should have done it five years ago.

Watching medalists and commentators on sports shows is funny because they put everything a little down. Oh, he won a gold, but he still could have done better. Got a silver, he’s perfectly fine with not winning a gold but he should have done better.

In every compliment or acknowledgment of something this is that little “but”. I am noticing it more and more now as I pay attention to it. They always add in that “but”. She aced her exam, but she studied to hard or should have finished it faster.

I can get modesty and humility, by why not revel in a victory just a little? Enjoy that feeling of accomplishment.

I’m sorry, getting drunk and doing that does not count in my book.

Perhaps I’m just too Canadian…

Snacks

It’s interesting to go shopping with a Finn before a night out. They go to buy snacks. To me snacks mean cookies, chips, popcorn and other bits and bites. To a Finn apparently that includes various types of alcohol from straight up vodka to ciders.

It seems that Finns start drinking about 1-3 hours before going out and do not stop until they are flat on their faces either in bed or on the bathroom floor.

The snacks were explained to me. Alcohol is expensive in bars so Finns get as wasted as possible before they even leave the house. I’m sure this is done in Canada, but I kind of think it’s not pushed to this extreme since at least one of the people will be driving to their destination because the GTAs (Greater Toronto Area) transit system is just awful. So really, really awful it
just doesn’t even bare thinking of when compared to Finland’s.

My belief is that the drinking is a way of cracking the reserve most Finns cover themselves with. Finns tend to come across as very… sober most of the time, rarely cracking a smile or joke. It is generally very quiet. Helsinki reminds me of a U of T library! Even the trams and buses are hushed!

The times Finns get noisy are when they are drunk. It’s like they have a completely different personality. Drink frees them to express themselves in ways they feel they normally can’t.
Finns are also very socially conscious people. Always spying, I mean aware of what their neighbors are doing, buying, saying… So it takes quite a lot to crack that reserve.

Me, being from Canada, most come across as a little crazy, I don’t have that kind of reserve, though in Canada I come across to others as practical, quiet and reserved. Here I come across as unreserved, open, loud and a little crazy. Maybe they think I am drunk all the time?

Or maybe I am misreading their reactions to me and they see me as just a rather extroverted foreigner that happens to be Finn at the same time…

Culture Clash? Babies in the Cold

I have recently been staying in Finland and have noticed something, that I at least, find rather strange.

Perhaps people in Canada do it as well and I have just never seen it happen?

What I am talking about is the habit Finn's have of leaving babies outside in strollers or those little carrier seat things.

Are you surprised? If yes, that's good because then I am not the only one. If no, then how could I have missed it? Sure I'm not around babies all that often but I never thought that it was a common occurrence to put one's child on the deck or at the front door.

I will now just go on writing like perhaps this is only common in Finland, and perhaps other EU/Scandinavian countries.

Is this a way for the little tyke to get fresh air? To give some peace and quiet for the parents? I have noticed that they often put a baby monitor in with the kid. Do they sleep better out in the cold? And by the way yes it is cold out from -1 to -12 that I've seen these kids out.

Is it to make them adapt? Is it something that has always been done and never considered why?

I am not outraged on behalf of the baby, just puzzled as to why. I'm all for giving the kid fresh air but it seems odd since I'm so used to seeing babies bundled up and treated like the most fragile of crystal ornaments.

I figure it is probably little different than taking the baby for a walk in a stroller or going from point A to B.

But still... is it just that I'm Canadian? Raised with a western view? Unobservant that they do this in Canada and the USA as well?

I think what struck me the most was when I saw the babies in the strollers on the front door step and not an adult in sight. Frankly, if I was in the states and some areas in Canada I'd be too paranoid to do this, afraid someone might snatch my kid. By the way, no I don't have any kids.

Is it that the West is more dangerous?

I don't know... I'm going to have to ask a Native Finn about this, because all I can think is "Huh...?"